Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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