So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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