It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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