Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
