Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
