your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
