Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
