Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
