Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
