I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
