we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
