i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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