Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
