I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You are a genius and a whore.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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