we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
