hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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