he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
how drunk are you?
Several
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
