he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
