Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
