Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
