My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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