My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
