I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
