i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
