Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
