Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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