so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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