You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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