so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
