There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
