they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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