Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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