I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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