absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
