:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
