Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
