i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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