Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
