just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She said her name was "party"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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