I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
