Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
