She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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