wat bout pragnant strippers??
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
