i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
