I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
