Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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