what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
