I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
