He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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