sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
love makes seman taste better
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize