after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
