youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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