Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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