No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
